Iris
by murasaki-ayame
Summary: I saw my life flash before me, as if I was living it again... LxOC
1. Chapter 1

**Okay! This is my first fic. I kind of got bored and decided to start writing. This is just an idea that I've been toying with. I would really appreciate it if you could tell me if it's any good. I really hope you all enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a Death Note, there would be several stupid people already dead. Huh? Oh, you mean the manga/anime. Well, I don't own that either. **

**Iris**

**Prologue: Nightmares and Dreamscapes**

_The men had gone away, but there was no doubt that they were still watching me on a surveillance camera. What was the point of keeping watch over me? There was absolutely no chance of me escaping. My arms were outstretched and securely tied to the wall. I was held in a standing position with not enough give in the bonds for me to sit down. _

_As I tried to make myself comfortable in the awkward position, I wondered how long it would be until he rescued me. I had no idea what the kidnappers wanted, but I knew that he would figure out a way to get me back. He would never leave me. No matter where destiny guided my life, he was always there to catch me when I fell. I knew he would save me from this place._

_Suddenly, the chilly air in the room seemed to heat up. I felt like my body was on fire as sweat formed at my brow. My breathing started to get heavier and my head began to feel lighter. I tried to fight it, but there was no point. Why try to escape the inevitable? So, a lone tear escaped my eye as I finally succumbed to the darkness. And I saw my life flash before me, as if I was living it again…_

**Chapter 1: A Nameless Beginning**

My earliest memories of life were dismal. I sometimes wonder how on earth I survived for five years living in that loveless home. Most people wouldn't even call it a home. It was a small house that was so run-down that rent was practically nothing. It was one story with two bedrooms. The water from the faucet was always orange and several of the lights never worked. My room was very small and bare. There was only a twin size mattress, a pillow, and a few blankets in it. The other rooms were just as dismal looking. I guess the woman I lived with didn't believe in decorating.

Despite the fact that I had lived with her since I was born, I really didn't know anything about her. I don't think we had ever spent more than a few minutes in the same room as each other. She was a complete mystery to me. She stayed out most nights and only came home to sleep during the day. I had no idea how she paid the rent. As strange as it may sound, I didn't even know her name. I never spoke to her, so there was no reason to address her by a name or title. In turn, she never spoke or paid any attention to me. Even though she had given birth to me, I never thought of her as a mother.

My days were usually spent trying to sleep. It was just easier to live by her schedule than to try to go against it and risk waking her up during the day. Although she mostly ignored me, if I did anything to anger her, she would hit me. Nights were spent in front of the television. It was one of the few comforts that we owned. It was also my only real window to the outside world. With the lack of a parental figure, I learned everything from the tv.

This was how I lived for five years. It was by no means a charmed life, but it was all I had ever known. So, it was understandable that I didn't want to leave that life behind for the unknown. Yet destiny, in all its glory, had different plans. It's strange how a person's entire life can change in the course of one night. Looking back, I don't consider my life before this particular night as living, but merely as existing. Strange how a cigarette can change a life for better or for worse.

The night had started like any other night. After the woman had left the house, I entered the livingroom where I sat down to watch tv. After only two hours of cartoons and a half hour of the news, the door opened and the woman walked in. Noticing that she looked worn out, I decided that it was a good idea to turn off the tv and retreat to my room. I lay down on my bed and tried to make myself rest, it was hard enough for me to sleep during my regular schedule. After what seemed like an eternity of counting sheep, I finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

A while later, I was awakened by the smell of something burning. I got up to find out what had caused the smell. Upon opening the door, I was met with the sight of flames coming from the woman's room. Her bedroom door was only a few feet away from mine. I knew it was only a matter of time before the fire spread to my room, but I couldn't move. My body felt like it was frozen in place. Suddenly, a strange sensation that I had never felt before hit me. After that, my vision went black.

When I finally woke up, several strange people in white were hovering over me. They kept telling me what to do and asking me questions.

"Try to breathe normally."

"Do you know how the fire started?"

"Don't try to get up too soon."

"Is there anyone else living with you besides the woman?"

"Drink some of this water. It'll help with the dizziness."

"Can you tell me your name?"

I remained silent as they spoke. That last question, however, left me wondering, _'What _is_ my name?"_

**Ooooh! What's gonna happen next!? You'll just have to keep reading. Please, R&R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I'm amazed by how many people have read the first chapter. Thank you all for reading. I'd also like to thank KazeNoSasayaki2494 for reviewing. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I don't even own the clothes that I'm wearing right now! (I stole them from my sister's closet. Shhh! Don't tell her!)**

**Iris**

**Chapter 2: What's in a name?**

It's the strangest thing to see everything that you've ever known go up in flames. By the time that I was able to watch the incineration of my life, the fire had already completely engulfed the small house and firefighters were working diligently to extinguish it and prevent it from spreading. I felt empty as I witnessed all of this.

Soon, a police officer came and carried me to his car. He said that he was going to take me to a group home, until they could figure out where I belonged. On the ride there, he tried to talk to me like the people in white did, but I remained silent. Why try to answer questions that I didn't know the answers to?

The group home was like nothing I was use to. It was cleaner and louder than my house. There were children everywhere, more than I could count. Their ages varied greatly, but most of them were older than me. They all stared at me when I came in. You could practically hear their thoughts, _'fresh meat'._ All the walls were painted a pale green color and they gave off an eerie glow as the bright lights glared on them. There never seemed to be a completely dark room.

When I arrived, the first thing they did was get me cleaned up properly. I was bathed head to toe. The lady that helped me ended up having to cut off most of my thick, waist-length hair. It was too ratted and tangled to comb through. I was then given my first new clothes. All they had for me were a grey sweats outfit and a pair of sandals, but I liked them. They were comfortable and better fitted to me than the over-sized t-shirt that I had worn for years.

As I gazed into the bathroom mirror, a completely different person stared back at me. Gone was the mass of tangled, dark brown hair to be replaced by neat, straight locks that were two inches long. The dirty face was transformed into a clean pale one. The new grey sweats seemed to add to this fresh image. For the first time in my life, I looked like an actual child, instead of the shadow of what should be a child. I felt like Cinderella must have when her fairy god-mother transformed her from a poor servant into a princess.

The lady then led me to large room full of sleeping children. There was an empty bed in the corner made for me. After she tucked me in under the covers, she left the room. It was only a moment until she returned with a white stuffed bunny in her hands. Her smile was bright as she gave it to me.

"I picked him out especially for you. See, his eyes match yours," she said after giving him to me. Indeed, he had light blue button eyes that were the same shade as mine. "You can name him whatever you want. He is yours to keep." How could I name something, when _I_ didn't even have a name? I pondered this a while before finally falling asleep.

The next morning, I was given a quick breakfast before being taken to see one of the counselors. This woman was older and plumper than the one who had taken care of me last night, but she was just as kind. She sat behind a large desk, while I was situated in a comfortable chair holding my new unnamed friend. After introducing herself, she started off the meeting by telling me several things that I hadn't known. My mother had perished in the fire that had destroyed the house. I was saved from the inferno by a neighbor who had broken through my bedroom window to try and save my mother, only to find me on the floor unconscious. He had carried me to safety and went back in for my mother. Sadly, he was too late.

She also informed me that my mother's name was Mary Linton. My mother had no close living relatives and my father was a mystery. So, there was no family to take me in. As I sat there listening to her, I kept waiting for the subject of my name to pop up, but the next piece of information threw me for a loop. There was no record of my existence. Apparently, my mother had given birth to me at home; she hid her condition from everyone and hadn't visited a doctor during or after her pregnancy. So, officially I did not exist.

As she continued talking about what would probably happen to me, I stared outside. Several feet away from the window was a bed full of flowers. I was entranced by one beautiful blue flower. Its petals were large and bright and arranged in a way that I'd never seen before. There seemed to be several different colors of the same type flower in the bed, but that one caught my eye. It was the only blue one in the bed.

The woman soon realized that I wasn't listening. Following my line of vision, she soon figured out what had caught my attention. "It's such a beautiful spring day. I often find myself staring out at the flowers on days like this. Which one is your favorite?" Her voice snapped me out of my daze. I quickly pointed to the flower I'd been staring at. "That's an iris. They're so beautiful this time of year and they come in almost any color you could imagine. I sometimes wish I had a garden full of them. It'd be like growing your own rainbow." I had to admit that this idea was very enchanting. I suddenly wished that I could plant my own rainbow.

The conversation then turned back to my situation. Based on the examinations of the doctor and paramedics and several interviews with neighbors, they estimated that I was born a few days after Christmas five years ago. A young social worker came in with a pile of paperwork that needed to be filled out. After that was completed, I would be able to move into another group home or a permanent foster home.

The first thing the documents asked for was a name. It's weird how I had never really noticed before that everyone and everything had a name, except me. I knew the social worker didn't expect me to answer any questions. After all, I hadn't spoken a word the entire time and everyone was probably wondering whether or not I was able to speak. As he looked back down at the paper and was about to write down something, probably along the lines of Jane Doe, I finally let my voice be heard for the first time. "Iris," was all I said. The social worker looked at me questioningly. "My name is Iris," I added. When I saw him nod and write down what I had just told him, I felt a strange warmth spread from my heart. _'Is this what it feels like to be alive?'_

**Well, there's the second chapter for you. I hoped you enjoyed it. Please, R&R.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry for the long wait. The last few days of school are always hectic. Thank you KazeNoSasayaki2494 and The Last Kunoichi for reviewing. It makes me so happy that you like my story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I'm just lucky to own myself-(brother whispers in my ear) What do mean that I don't even own myself? (more whispers) Okay, scratch what I said earlier. Technically, my parents own me.**

**Iris**

**Chapter 3: Beyond Expectations**

After an entire morning and afternoon, most of the paperwork was completed. The only thing left to do was to have some information processed and to complete a few tests. Then I would be sent to a more permanent residence. Even though it would take several days before I would be placed, I was still anxious about the event.

My nerves were so shot that I could barely eat supper. I probably wouldn't have eaten much anyway. Years of eating whatever happened to be available at whatever time had left me in a position where eating specific foods on a set schedule was not welcomed by my stomach. I was accustomed to eating small, simple snacks throughout the day. Breakfast and lunch had been alright, because they had just been cereal and sandwiches. Supper was an entirely different affair. Although the meal looked and smelled appealing, it didn't seem to be appetizing to me. My stomach seemed to turn to the point that I couldn't even look at the bowl of macaroni and cheese that had been set before me.

I went to the recreation room after only eating a few bites. The room was almost empty since it was supper. The only other person there was a caretaker who was picking up several toys. Looking up, he finally noticed me standing in the doorway. "Hello there. Finished with supper already?" he asked me. I nodded. "Well, since there's still time before bed, would you like to watch TV?" he offered. As I made my way over to the small couch, I nodded. "What channel would you like it on?" he questioned. The remote control was poised in his hand.

"Channel four, please," I answered. He was a bit surprised when he switched to that channel to find that the local news was currently on.

"Wouldn't you rather watch cartoons?" he asked.

"No, I like the news. It's nice to know what happens everyday," I replied. The news had always been my window to the outside world. It was proof that there was a world beyond the walls of my own home.

"How old are you?" I was starting to wonder if this man couldn't speak without asking a question.

"I'm five."

"Wow, I never heard of a five-year-old who'd rather watch the news than cartoons," he said before leaving me alone to watch the news in peace.

I sat on the couch Indian-style with my still unnamed bunny in my arms for a long time, soaking in all of the information from the world. There was an oil spill near Alaska, a pop star had gotten a divorce, local campaigns were beginning, and a woman was killed in a house fire. Wait, what? Sure enough, the news was talking about the disaster that had occurred last night. 'Ms. Mary Linton died in fire last night that had started from a lit cigarette being dropped on her bedroom floor. Her daughter was rescued from the burning house by a neighbor. The girl was uninjured and is being taken care of by social services.' That was it. I never dreamed that anything directly concerning me would ever be on the news. It was like a strange confirmation to my existence.

After a while, children started to come into the room for some after-supper television time. I was forced to change the channel to cartoons. As I sat back and watched a bumbling cat try to catch a quick-witted mouse, the feeling of knowing that the world was not completely blind to my plight still lingered. Little did I realize that several other news channels had already aired that same information earlier in the day. Hundreds of people had already been made aware of the incident, including one special person who would change my life forever.

The rest of the night passed by without much occurrence. Morning came quickly. After breakfast, I was whisked away to complete several intelligence tests. Because of my years of neglect, they wanted to know how well my mind was developed. Several answers were easy, while I had difficulty with others. The testing process ended right before lunch. As soon as I was finished eating my peanut butter sandwich, a caretaker came to get me. I was taken back to the room where I was tested. My counselor and social worker were both there to go over the results with me.

The counselor was the first to speak. "Your scores are beyond what we expected of a child who spent her first five years of life under severe neglect. You scored slightly above the average score of a child your age. Starting your schooling immediately shouldn't be a problem," she explained.

"It usually takes us several days to place a child, but we got a special call yesterday afternoon from Quillsh Wammy. He runs an orphanage and requested that you live there. It's an excellent establishment and we feel that you will get along nicely there. He should be here any moment to pick you up," the social worker announced.

Sure enough, a few moments later there was knock on the office door. An older gentleman entered the room. I became a little nervous by how rich and distinguished he looked. As I glanced up at his kind face, my fears were put to rest. He extended his hand to me and I took it in my own. His grip was firm yet gentle and comforting.

With only my new clothes, my bunny and my memories, I left the group home with the kind old man in a black limousine. I didn't know what this new home would have in store for me, but I knew it would be better than what I had left behind.

**Yay! The third chapter is finally done! To tell you the truth, most of it has been done for several days. I just needed to put the finishing touches on it. I hope you enjoy it. Please R&R.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to thank Kimura Akira, Life Dealer, KazeNoSasayaki2494, and yuru-neko for their wonderful reviews. All you readers out there are so awesome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I do, however, own the popsicle I'm currently eating-(brother whispers in my ear) I do so own it. I bought that box of popsicles with my own money. (more whispers) Yeah, Dad gave me the money in my allowance, but I earned it!**

**Iris**

**Chapter 4: Unexpected Welcome**

I couldn't believe that the trip took almost two hours. The span of time it took us to reach our destination seemed so much shorter. It was probably because of the constant conversation that took place throughout the entire trip. Mr. Wammy was an easy man to talk to. I spoke more to him in the span of less than two hours than I had to anyone at the group home during my two days there. But all too soon, our conversation came to an end as we arrived at the Wammy House.

It was much larger and fancier than I thought it would be. The group home seemed to pale in comparison to this place. It had a large yard with several trees, bushes, and flowerbeds and a playground area equipped with swings, slides, monkey bars, and seesaws. The entire atmosphere seemed to glow with happiness. If the outside looked this nice, then I couldn't wait to see what was inside the huge home.

When we stepped through the large doorway, I gasped when I saw how lavishly decorated the house was. As Mr. Wammy gave me a tour of the house, I couldn't help noticing the walls were decorated with lovely paintings and the carpet felt so soft beneath my sandals. I started to wonder if I had died and gone to heaven.

As I glanced at my surroundings, I tried to pay special attention what Mr. Wammy was saying. There were more rooms than I could even count. I had no idea of how I was going to remember which one was which. The ground level held the classrooms, kitchen, dining room, recreational room, and a few offices. The two higher floors held the bedrooms. Girls' rooms were on the second floor and the boys' were on the third. Each floor had several bathroom facilities. I was quite surprised that there were so many bedrooms. My surprise must have shown because Mr. Wammy quickly answered my unanswered my unasked question.

"Every child receives their own room. Many staff members live here, as well. There are also a few vacant rooms, so that we are always ready for any new arrivals," he kindly explained, as we climbed a flight of stairs to the second floor. Passing several rooms, I noticed that most had signs on the doors with names written on them. We soon came to one with no sign on it. "This shall be your room," he said, as he opened the door. "I'll leave you to get settled. You're free to play in the yard or roam about the building. Classes are still in session today, so it will be a while before you may meet the other children," he informed me before leaving.

Stepping into the room, I was amazed by how well furnished it was. It held a twin bed with light blue sheets, a dresser, a wardrobe, a desk, and a chair. The desk was already stocked with the necessities of any student. Looking at the clock that was on the desk, I noticed that it was only two-thirty. I decided that I should walk around before the other children get out of their classes.

After walking around the house and trying to memorize where all the important rooms were, I made my way outside. I looked towards the playground area and tried to decide which thing to try first. Even though I knew what all the equipment was, I had never played on any of them. I finally decided to ride on the swings first. Holding on tight to the rope with one hand and to my bunny with the other, I cautiously started to go back and forth. As I gained confidence, I also gained speed and height. I was truly enjoying myself.

All of a sudden, a loud ringing sound filled the air. Surprised, I fell from the swing. I landed roughly in the dirt. One of my hands was scraped by a rock. I ignored the dirty, bleeding injury. My attention was drawn to a large group of students, who were exiting the building.

Grabbing my bunny, I quickly made my way behind a nearby tree. I didn't know exactly why I hid from them. I merely felt reluctant to meet any of them just yet. From my hiding spot, I watched as the other children started to play. It was a new sight for me. I felt that I needed to observe this joyful scene for a while.

Out of nowhere, something hit my leg. Looking down, I noticed a red rubber ball. A few shouts came from the same direction that the ball did. Upon looking up, I saw two much older and larger boys coming towards me. All at once my breathing became hitched and it felt hotter. The strange sensation that I had felt during the fire came back to me. My body swayed a bit and everything went black.

Upon opening my eyes, I found that I was in my bed with my bunny next to me and my scraped, dirty hand had been cleaned. I had no idea how I had been brought back to my room. It felt like I was asleep for only a few moments. When I looked at the clock, however, I realized that I had been out for at least an hour. I looked around my room in search of any clue as to how I had gotten here. The only thing out of place that I found was half an animal cracker near the door.

**There you have it. I'm terribly sorry that I haven't updated in sooooo long. I was in a car accident a while back. I'm still hurting a great deal from it and the medicine I take to treat the pain makes me extremely drowsy. Once again, I'm very sorry. I hope you all enjoyed this belated chapter. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you HaleyJo, Adorkable93, Amy122, Siean Horoc, Pyrest, Lady-Wicca666, xXAsalemXx, haipa-chan, Giselle Bourignon, and A'isha Ishtar for your kind and encouraging reviews. I highly value the support of my readers.**

**I'm sorry this chapter is so long in coming. There is no need for me to make pathetic excuses. The underlying problem was complete laziness and preoccupation with other trivial matters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did, then L wouldn't be dead. **

**Iris**

**Chapter 5: Caught!**

As I stared blankly at the open book in front of me, a small yawn escaped my lips. It was hard to believe that I had already spent two weeks living at Wammy's House. The fact that I'd hardly slept or ate anything during those two weeks was even harder to believe. I couldn't understand how I wasn't getting any sleep. I fell asleep and woke up at reasonable hours. Yet, I felt as though I hadn't slept at all. The signs of sleep deprivation were evident. Dark bags had formed under my eyes and I looked like the walking dead.

For some reason, I also had no appetite. At mealtimes, I didn't feel hungry at all. I'd eat a small morsel, usually a slice of bread or some crackers, just to be safe. But I could've gone without those small amounts of food. Despite my lack of eating, I didn't seem to be losing any weight.

Several other things had occurred in that two week span. I had started classes the day after I arrived. Even though my intelligence was high for someone my age and condition, most of the children in my classes were younger than me. My teachers told me not to worry though. I was learning very quickly and would be able to advance to the next level in a matter of time. Apparently, the grade levels at Wammy's were very flexible. I was told that some children manage to skip several levels in a single year.

Another yawn slipped out. Even though it was only 7:00, I decided to go to bed. As I closed the book, I couldn't help looking at that last problem one more time. I had been trying to work ahead so that I could advance to the next level sooner. I just couldn't figure out that last problem. Perhaps a night of sleep would do me good. Not very likely. Supper, which I hadn't eaten, had been an hour ago. I had already prepared for bed, before I tried to work ahead on my homework.

So, I slipped off my sandals as I got into bed. I made myself comfortable under the covers. The bed was actually very soft and warm. My sleeping attire, which was composed of light blue sweats, added to this comforting effect. I wish I knew why I felt so tired. If I wasn't so tired, maybe it would be easier for me to learn. Never before had I had any real problem sleeping. It seemed like I'd go to sleep and wake up even more exhausted than I was before I slept. It was strange problem indeed. Slowly, I started to edge into unconsciousness. Perhaps, tonight would be the night.

The events that unfolded after I went to bed are somewhat vague to me. I only know the specifics of what happened due to speculation. What I do know though, is that I was abruptly awoken by a boy's voice, "Caught you! Red-handed!" Once I got my bearings, I noticed that I wasn't lying in my bed. In fact, I wasn't even in my bedroom. Looking around, I realized that I was standing in a pantry. A light was shining on me from a flashlight in the boy's hand. When I glanced down to escape the glare of the light, I noticed that I was holding several boxes of snacks and a jar of peanut butter in my arms. I couldn't help, but wonder what on earth I was doing in here.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" his words shook me from my trance-like state. It suddenly occurred to me that his words sounded like something an officer would say to a criminal. Why was he talking to me like that? He looked like he was only a few years older than me. His ebony hair slightly covered his eyes. When I finally got a good look at them, those large, dark orbs looked more like they belonged to an adult, full of knowledge and experience. "Well?" he asked, wanting an answer.

I finally realized the situation before me. Apparently, he thought I was stealing food. As I reanalyzed everything, I had to admit that this conclusion wasn't unfounded. Suddenly, I thought about what this event could mean. Would I be kicked out for stealing food? If so, then where would I go and what would I do!? Fear started to rise up inside of me. The room seemed to start spinning. Before I knew it, that all-too-familiar sensation that I'd been experiencing quite frequently lately hit me. As I drifted into the strange oblivion, the last thing I heard was, "Not again!"

**I realize that this chapter is a bit shorter than the others and I apologize for that. Hopefully, you'll all enjoy it anyway. Once again, I'm very sorry for the lateness of this update. **


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